Means of Transportation for the Earth-Confined Hitchhiker

Hitchhiking is a phenomenon of all times. Depending how wide you take the definition of hitchhiking, almost everyone that ever existed has at least once in their life hitched a hike. Think, for instance, about the big migration of the nations. Of course lots of things have changed since those times. The further you go back in history, the smaller the variety and the smaller the number of ways to hitchhike there are. In those days travel was also a lot slower. Imagine for instance hitching a hike from a friendly peasant on his oxen-propelled cart.

The world today shows us a tremendous variety of ways to travel, a very large amount of vehicles to do it with, and terrific speeds to do it by. Imagine hitching a hike for a few hundred metres on a jet propelled dragster.

To explore as much as possible ways of transportation for today's hitch- hiker, to recognize a means of transportation when you see one, and to find out the properties of all of these methods from your comfortable chair, I have compiled the list that you will find below. As the means of transportation for the Earth-confined hitchhiker expand by the day, you are encouraged to add more and more to this list. We want to know what means of transportation we hadn't thought of yet, how comfortable they are, how fast and how far you can get with them, what your contribution to the travelling party will be, who you will meet using that means of transportation, and especially how much FUN you can have using this means of transportation.

So enjoy and use the list below and write some stuff yourself! (Note that this is an excellent excuse to do all kinds of irresponsible things.)

Land Travel

Elevator

Gets you from one floor to an arbitrary other. Elevators are noted to have their own character (programming).

Wheelchair

Never attempt to cross a desert in a wheelchair. In that case take a....

Sandbuggy

Looks like toy telephone with wheels, except for the phone.

Escalator

Not really exiting. Only takes you from one floor to the next. Invent your own excitement, like getting stuck.

Bicycle

Pedal yourself around the world!

Tricycle

If you want to ride a bike but can't keep your balance.

Motorbike

How does one recognize the happy biker? Flies on his teeth.

Bus

Mostly no toilets in there; make sure you take a leak first. Japanese used to put prisoners of war on long bus rides with water dripping right next to the poor soldiers.

Car

Most common.

Train

Possible to do some train surfing. DUCK!!!

Truck

Various kinds. Example: Garbage Truck

Walking

Do you really want to do THIS?

Water Travel

Paddle Boats

Hitler's nightmare.

Raft

Careful with sharp objects, i.e. earrings, staples, etc.

Canoe

Yes, they are very easy to tip over.

Kayak

The ancient ones did have hair.

Speedboat

Can go pretty fast, but it bumps a lot.

Water Skis

Without a speedboat you're nothing.

Submarine

A good test to see if you're claustrophobic. Too bad you can not get out if it becomes too much for you.

Ship

Jargon: hitchhiker = stow-away. Imagine a ship is a Vogon vessel and you've pretty well got the idea.

Ferry

The easy way. Unless there's going to be/has been a soccer match at your destination/the place you left (martial arts).

Swimming

Do you really want to do THIS?

Air Travel

Plane

Difficult. Pretending to be luggage is not a good idea. There is hardly any other way to get on board without paying. Security is very strict at airports.

Helicopter

Go to a near mountain far from the civilized world. Break your leg. Getting out of the hospital is the difficult bit.

Rocket

Forget it!

Ultralight

Also frequently an ingredient of a large range of food products.

Paraglider

The adventures of James the Birdman.

Canon

Can get you a little bit further. Only then you=little bits. (Messy business). Don't believe Jules Verne.

Missile

(Nuclear). Can get you reasonably far provided you manage to avoid security n-times worse than on airports. To survive the journey: bring your own oxygen. To survive the landing: ??? Landing usually involves a great deal of spreading yourself over large areas and disintegrating.

Flying Carpet

Amazingly well-suited for imaginary journeys. Not so amazingly well-suited for about anything else.

Jumping

Do you really want to do THIS?